Parents sometimes believe that
giving children what they want and not burdening them with rules will show them
that they are loved. We want to stress that permissiveness is not the way to
help children develop initiative—or any other valuable social or life skill. If
you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.
Children know when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It is really that
simple. Say it; mean it; and follow-through.
Parents who say what they mean and mean what they say do not have to use a lot
of words. In fact, the fewer words used, the better. When you use a lot of
words you are lecturing and children tune out lectures.
One reason you may use a lot of words is that you are trying to convince
yourself, as well as your child, that what you want is okay. If what you are
asking is reasonable, have confidence in your request.
Some parents lack confidence because they feel guilty. They are afraid their
poor little darling will suffer trauma for the rest of his life if his every
desire is not met. Children will suffer much more throughout their lives if
they develop the belief that love means others should take care of them and
give them whatever they want. They will suffer when they don’t learn they can
survive disappointments in life—and discover how capable they are in the
process.
Parents
sometimes believe that giving children what they want and not burdening
them with rules will show them that they are loved. We want to stress
that permissiveness is not the way to help children develop
initiative—or any other valuable social or life skill. If you say it,
mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.
Children know when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It is really that simple. Say it; mean it; and follow-through.
Parents who say what they mean and mean what they say do not have to use
a lot of words. In fact, the fewer words used, the better. When you use
a lot of words you are lecturing and children tune out lectures.
One reason you may use a lot of words is that you are trying to convince
yourself, as well as your child, that what you want is okay. If what
you are asking is reasonable, have confidence in your request.
Some parents lack confidence because they feel guilty. They are afraid
their poor little darling will suffer trauma for the rest of his life if
his every desire is not met. Children will suffer much more throughout
their lives if they develop the belief that love means others should
take care of them and give them whatever they want. They will suffer
when they don’t learn they can survive disappointments in life—and
discover how capable they are in the process. - See more at:
http://blog.positivediscipline.com/#sthash.EzcpL3vV.dpuf
