Understanding Natural Consequences

Natural consequences provide a parenting tool that can be extremely effective.  The folks at Positive Discipline explain how they work in a recent blog post:

 

A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally, with no adult interference. When you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don’t eat, you get hungry. When you forget your coat, you get cold. No piggy backing allowed. Adults piggy back when they lecture, scold, say, "I told you so," or do anything that adds more blame, shame, or pain than the child might experience naturally from the experience.

Children usually feel bad or guilty when they make a mistake. Piggy backing lessens the learning that can occur from experiencing a natural consequence because the child stops processing the experience and focuses on absorbing or defending against the blame, shame, and pain. Instead of piggy backing, show empathy and understanding for what the child is experiencing: "I’ll bet it was hard to go hungry (get wet, get that bad grade, lose your bicycle)." When it seems appropriate, you could add, "I love you and have faith in you to handle this." It can be difficult for parents to be supportive without rescuing or overprotecting, but it is one of the most encouraging things you can do to help your children develop a sense of capability

- See more at: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/#sthash.wdpMB3Cn.dpuf

Happy Parent Education Week 2014!

Help kick off Oregon's official Parent Education Week with a great article from Oregon State University's Denise Rennekamp on Being the Parent You Want to Be!

Becoming the parent you want to be

Being a parent is the most important job you will ever have. But it isn’t without challenges. The job can be made easier by preparing yourself for each developmental stage and continuing to learn techniques to connect with your children. The parenting process includes nurturing, protecting and guiding your child. Here are a few ways to positively influence your children:

• Talk often with your children from the day they are born.
• Hug them, hold them and respond to their needs and interests.
• Listen carefully as your children communicate with you.
• Read aloud to your children every day, even when they are babies. Play and sing with them often.
• Say “yes” and “I love you” as much as you say “no” and don’t.”
• Ensure a safe, orderly and predictable environment, wherever they are.
• Set limits on their behavior and discipline them calmly and not harshly.
• Learn about each stage of your child’s development so you can respond to their needs and behavior appropriately.

Many jobs and roles require training to optimize performance and outcomes. As you think about your important role in helping your child grow and develop, consider taking advantage of parenting education opportunities in your community. These opportunities will not only introduce you to information about effective parenting practices, but will also give you a chance to interact with other parents.

Homemade Face Paint

 Mix your own homemade face paint using cold cream, corn starch, and food coloring—it's that easy! Free of mystery ingredients and skin irritants, this homemade face paint craft is a delightful, easy, and creative activity year round, and it's also a safe and economical way to jazz up a Halloween costume!

What You Need:

• 2 tablespoons of cold cream, or other thick face cream
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• Food coloring in assorted colors
• Paper plate
• Small paintbrushes
• Optional: stencils

What You Do:

1. Mix the face cream, corn starch and food coloring together well. Make a rainbow of colors using the food coloring, but be sure to only use a few drops!
2. Put a dollop of each color onto the paper plate.
3. Grab the paintbrush and cover your child's cheeks with color! Simple things like rainbows, cat whiskers and stars are easy to do freehand. If you're doing this around a holiday, you can theme it! Jack-o'-lanterns on Halloween, hearts for Valentine's day, balloons for a birthday, etc.
4. With some guidance and a mirror, your child might want to paint his own face. It could get messy, but it sure is fun! Keep an eye out to make sure he doesn't get any paint in his eyes.
5. Encourage your child to engage in imaginary play with his new identity! It's so fun, you might even be tempted to paint your own face and play along!

Follow Through: A Positive Discipline Approach

 

Parents sometimes believe that giving children what they want and not burdening them with rules will show them that they are loved. We want to stress that permissiveness is not the way to help children develop initiative—or any other valuable social or life skill. If you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.
Children know when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It is really that simple.  Say it; mean it; and follow-through.
Parents who say what they mean and mean what they say do not have to use a lot of words. In fact, the fewer words used, the better. When you use a lot of words you are lecturing and children tune out lectures.
One reason you may use a lot of words is that you are trying to convince yourself, as well as your child, that what you want is okay. If what you are asking is reasonable, have confidence in your request.
Some parents lack confidence because they feel guilty. They are afraid their poor little darling will suffer trauma for the rest of his life if his every desire is not met. Children will suffer much more throughout their lives if they develop the belief that love means others should take care of them and give them whatever they want. They will suffer when they don’t learn they can survive disappointments in life—and discover how capable they are in the process.

 

Parents sometimes believe that giving children what they want and not burdening them with rules will show them that they are loved. We want to stress that permissiveness is not the way to help children develop initiative—or any other valuable social or life skill. If you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.

Children know when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It is really that simple.  Say it; mean it; and follow-through.

Parents who say what they mean and mean what they say do not have to use a lot of words. In fact, the fewer words used, the better. When you use a lot of words you are lecturing and children tune out lectures.

One reason you may use a lot of words is that you are trying to convince yourself, as well as your child, that what you want is okay. If what you are asking is reasonable, have confidence in your request.

Some parents lack confidence because they feel guilty. They are afraid their poor little darling will suffer trauma for the rest of his life if his every desire is not met. Children will suffer much more throughout their lives if they develop the belief that love means others should take care of them and give them whatever they want. They will suffer when they don’t learn they can survive disappointments in life—and discover how capable they are in the process. - See more at: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/#sthash.EzcpL3vV.dpuf

Spring Time Learning Games

Now that the sun is out, why not take learning outside?!?  The following fun ideas from Family Fun Magazine, get kids thinking, exploring and learning without any idea education is involved!

1. Backyard Scrabble: Turn some cardstock or light cardboard into a back yard spelling adventure!

2. Watch it Grow: Plant some of your favorite bulbs and race to see how fast they grow!

3. Sight-Word Twister: Grab some sidewalk chalk and practice those sight words with a twister or hopscotch game!

A New Way to Feed the Birds

For a quick and simple spring craft, just grab some wire and some leftover popcorn!  This fun new way to feed the birds, provides endless possibilities for shapes and design.  Caution: The edge of the wire may be sharp, so younger children may require a bit of help stringing on the popcorn.
Once you have strung your popcorn and created your shape, simply twist off, snip the wire and hang to a tree!