Struggling to get your children to pitch in and help around the house? Building Healthy Families searched some reliable resources and found some great ideas at www.focusonthefamily.com. Below is a quick list of a few great ideas that real parents have used to motivate their kids to take responsibility for their chores:
For Babies, Toddlers and Preschoolers
Make the bed
Draw a quilt with 30 patches. Each time your child makes her bed, let her color a patch. The goal is to complete the quilt. In the same way, you can motivate your kids to pick up their toys. Draw a toy chest and cut out 30 pictures of toys from advertisements or magazines. If your child picks up his toys at the end of the day, let him glue a picture in the toy box. The goal is to fill the chest.
— Jennifer Bussey
Pick up toys
Children enjoy blending music and work. While you show them how to do developmentally appropriate chores, use a well-known tune and make up lyrics to fit the melody. For example, if you choose "The Farmer in the Dell," you can sing words similar to the following:
We're picking up the blocks.
We're picking up the blocks.
Hi-ho, the derry-o.
We're picking up the blocks.
You also can add a child's name to the song.
Josh picked up a toy.
He's such a wonderful boy.
Hi-ho, the derry-o.
Cleaning is a joy.
— Sharon Wilkins
Feed the pet
Give your child a measuring cup and show him how much food to put in Rover's bowl. Then help your son fill the water bowl as well. Because he can't yet reach the sink on his own, he can fill a cup with water and transfer it to the dish. When he sees Rover chowing down on the food, praise your child for taking care of his pet.
— Abigail Cleveland
Water the lawn
Children long for cool, refreshing water in the summer heat almost as much as plants do. Take care of both by allowing your child to water plants with a small watering can. Help him fill it with water from the garden hose, and teach him how to pour water slowly on a plant. After he's finished, reward his effort by turning on the sprinkler and letting him run through it.
— Melissa Lehman
Rake the leaves
A large pile of fallen leaves makes a great playground for children and a fun family activity. Buy a small, plastic rake so your toddler can help. Be sure to sift out any limbs or material that could hurt your child if he jumps on the pile.
— Melissa Lehman
For School-age kids
Neglected Chores
My husband and I tired of reminding our four sons to do chores. We told our boys that if a chore was not completed by a predetermined time, another sibling could do it. Then the neglectful sibling had to pay the one who completed the job. Giving hard-earned money to a brother motivated them, and we no longer had to remind them.
— Sue Heimer
Motivate with a point system
At our home, we've adapted a point system to motivate our kids to take on chores. The system also encourages other ways of helping. It's a fun way to instill responsibility and ownership without resorting to nagging or scolding. Here's how it works:
1. Each time your child completes a chore or task on his own, award points. The more important or difficult the task, the more points are earned. Especially kind or generous acts earn "bonus" points. Take away points for misbehaviors or failure to perform expected chores. The key is to be consistent. Be sure to decide on a point value system in advance.
2. At the end of a predetermined time period (such as one month), the child with the most points wins.
3. Make sure every child benefits regardless of who wins. In our home, the winner gets to decide where our next fun family outing will be — bumper bowling, the family arcade or a kids' movie night to name a few. The winner earns the power of choice, but siblings still get to join in the fun.
— Dan Kassis
Chore charts
Did you finish your homework? Have you set the table? My children and I grew tired of my daily, ineffective interrogations.
One day I laminated a chore list for each child and set up a magnet chart that had their names and the days of the week.
Later, my children picked a small number of inexpensive items they wanted. I labeled each with a "price" of a specific number of magnets that needed to be earned before receiving the prize.
Whenever my children completed their chore list without being reminded, they placed a magnet on the chart. If they did not do their chores, they had to remove a previously earned magnet. Once a child earned enough magnets, the child could redeem an item from the prize box.
— Melinda Means
Build relationships through chores
I felt myself slipping out of touch with my six children. When my oldest boy stressed over his chores, especially doing the dishes, I worked alongside him, giving him an occasional elbow nudge or playfully splashing him. Soon his wall of resistance vanished. Now I view chores as a family relationship builder instead of a burden.
— Brandy Brow
Building Healthy Families
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Homemade Fingerpaints
Not only is finger painting fun for kids of all ages, it helps toddlers and preschool children develop the fine motor skills needed for cutting, writing and getting ready for school success! While commercial paints are great, they can be expensive and full of toxic ingredients. Next time you are stuck in the house, try this simple recipe made from ingredients found in your pantry. While kids shouldn't be encouraged to eat the paints, they are safe, non-toxic and easy to clean up!
The consistency of the paint varies a great deal. For thicker, gloppier paint increase corn starch, for a smooth paint, thin with water.
The consistency of the paint varies a great deal. For thicker, gloppier paint increase corn starch, for a smooth paint, thin with water.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Positive Discipline Tool: The Importance of Routine
We often see spring as a time to not only clean out our cabinets, but organize our lives and feel on top of our daily schedule! As adults, we know how valuable and motivating effectively managing our time can be. Think of the potential positive impact passing these traits onto your children could have in their future success. The experts at Positive Discipline, recently blogged about the value of teaching your children the importance of routine.
"Creating routine charts is great training for children to learn time and life management skills. Parents help their children by guiding them in the creation of their routine charts instead of creating charts for them. Parents add to the effectiveness of routine charts when they allow their children to experience the satisfaction of following their charts because it feels good (a sense of accomplishment) instead of giving them stickers and rewards—which takes away from their inner sense of accomplishment.
Some parents forget that their most important task is to make their job obsolete. Their job is to help their children be self-sufficient instead of dependent. Teaching children to create routine charts is a great step toward that end. Does this mean that routine charts are magical and will prevent all future resistance and challenges from children? No. Testing their power is part of their individuation process. However, working “with” children to help them learn skills will make your job obsolete much quicker and more effective than thinking it is your job to be in charge of everything they do. Guiding your children to create routine charts is just one of the many ways you can empower your children to feel and be competent and capable."
"Creating routine charts is great training for children to learn time and life management skills. Parents help their children by guiding them in the creation of their routine charts instead of creating charts for them. Parents add to the effectiveness of routine charts when they allow their children to experience the satisfaction of following their charts because it feels good (a sense of accomplishment) instead of giving them stickers and rewards—which takes away from their inner sense of accomplishment.
Some parents forget that their most important task is to make their job obsolete. Their job is to help their children be self-sufficient instead of dependent. Teaching children to create routine charts is a great step toward that end. Does this mean that routine charts are magical and will prevent all future resistance and challenges from children? No. Testing their power is part of their individuation process. However, working “with” children to help them learn skills will make your job obsolete much quicker and more effective than thinking it is your job to be in charge of everything they do. Guiding your children to create routine charts is just one of the many ways you can empower your children to feel and be competent and capable."
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Not Just on Valentine's Day
While Valentine's is a great time to remind our kids of our love, sometimes you need a reminder to take a break from the daily chaos of family life and let your little ones know just how special and loved they really are on a daily basis. This list from Ladies Home Journal offers simple and absolutely free ways to inject a little fun into every day of the year, and make your children feel treasured always.
1. Spend time alone with each of your children. Go out to lunch, take a leisurely walk, or just hang out together letting them know you value them as individuals.
2. Nurture self-esteem and self-confidence by praising good effort and a job well done, not just results.
3. Celebrate everyday accomplishments. Make a special dinner with your child as the guest of honor to toast losing a tooth, making the soccer team, getting an A on a science paper, and more.
4. Teach children to think positive by being positive. Instead of noting how dirty they are when they come in for dinner, say, "Looks like you had a great time!"
5. Read "just one more book" even if it's late and you're tired. And don't forget to read to older children who already know how to read themselves. It's a great opportunity to snuggle.
6. Get out the photo albums and their baby books and tell your children stories about their beginnings.
7. Remind them of something they've taught you.
8. Tell them how wonderful it is being their parent and how much you like the way they're growing up.
9. Let your children choose their own clothes. It shows you respect their decision-making ability. Besides, everyone will know you didn't dress them. You would never mix plaid and stripes!
10. Get messy with your kids: Make snow angels, put your hands in the finger-paint, and mush up that clay.
11. Get to know their schedules, friends, and teachers so you can ask, "Did you and Sam sit together at lunch today?" or "What did Mr. Rogers sing in music class?" instead of simply, "What did you do today?"
12. Stop washing the dishes and talking on the phone and really listen when they are talking to you.
13. Teach your children to play jacks, use a yo-yo, knit, or do something you loved as a child. Or let your child choose something new you can learn together.
14. Bend the rules. Let your children put on their boots and jump in the puddles you usually tell them to avoid.
15. Eat dinner together even if it's just once a week. Take turns sharing your week's accomplishments.
16. Cut their sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutter hearts and stars.
17. Slip little love notes, jokes, poems, and words of encouragement into your children's lunchboxes, backpacks, or next to their beds (if you leave before they wake up), just to let them know you're thinking about them all day long.
18. Let your children overhear you complimenting them to someone else.
19. Wear the "jewels" your children make for you and display their artwork proudly in a special, visible place.
20. Try not to do all the things your parents did that you vowed never to do to your children.
21. Instead of saying, "You're doing it wrong," when your child makes a mistake, try saying "Why don't you try it this way."
22. Create a secret word, sign, or gesture of affection that only you and your child share.
23. Remember to give your children a lasting gift: roots and wings. If they push for independence, take it as the sign of a job well done.
24. Forget about yesterday. Start each day fresh. It's a new opportunity to have a better relationship with your children and to fall in love with them all over again.
25. Hug them, kiss them, and say, "I love you" every day, no matter what. Kids thrive on it and it's a daily fix we all need no matter what our age!
1. Spend time alone with each of your children. Go out to lunch, take a leisurely walk, or just hang out together letting them know you value them as individuals.
2. Nurture self-esteem and self-confidence by praising good effort and a job well done, not just results.
3. Celebrate everyday accomplishments. Make a special dinner with your child as the guest of honor to toast losing a tooth, making the soccer team, getting an A on a science paper, and more.
4. Teach children to think positive by being positive. Instead of noting how dirty they are when they come in for dinner, say, "Looks like you had a great time!"
5. Read "just one more book" even if it's late and you're tired. And don't forget to read to older children who already know how to read themselves. It's a great opportunity to snuggle.
6. Get out the photo albums and their baby books and tell your children stories about their beginnings.
7. Remind them of something they've taught you.
8. Tell them how wonderful it is being their parent and how much you like the way they're growing up.
9. Let your children choose their own clothes. It shows you respect their decision-making ability. Besides, everyone will know you didn't dress them. You would never mix plaid and stripes!
10. Get messy with your kids: Make snow angels, put your hands in the finger-paint, and mush up that clay.
11. Get to know their schedules, friends, and teachers so you can ask, "Did you and Sam sit together at lunch today?" or "What did Mr. Rogers sing in music class?" instead of simply, "What did you do today?"
12. Stop washing the dishes and talking on the phone and really listen when they are talking to you.
13. Teach your children to play jacks, use a yo-yo, knit, or do something you loved as a child. Or let your child choose something new you can learn together.
14. Bend the rules. Let your children put on their boots and jump in the puddles you usually tell them to avoid.
15. Eat dinner together even if it's just once a week. Take turns sharing your week's accomplishments.
16. Cut their sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutter hearts and stars.
17. Slip little love notes, jokes, poems, and words of encouragement into your children's lunchboxes, backpacks, or next to their beds (if you leave before they wake up), just to let them know you're thinking about them all day long.
18. Let your children overhear you complimenting them to someone else.
19. Wear the "jewels" your children make for you and display their artwork proudly in a special, visible place.
20. Try not to do all the things your parents did that you vowed never to do to your children.
21. Instead of saying, "You're doing it wrong," when your child makes a mistake, try saying "Why don't you try it this way."
22. Create a secret word, sign, or gesture of affection that only you and your child share.
23. Remember to give your children a lasting gift: roots and wings. If they push for independence, take it as the sign of a job well done.
24. Forget about yesterday. Start each day fresh. It's a new opportunity to have a better relationship with your children and to fall in love with them all over again.
25. Hug them, kiss them, and say, "I love you" every day, no matter what. Kids thrive on it and it's a daily fix we all need no matter what our age!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Homemade Valentines in a Flash
Whether you are looking for a last minute valentine creation, or just trying to keep your kids occupied for an afternoon, these toilet paper heart prints just might be the ticket. Quick, cheap and simple, this was the perfect fit for a table of kids ranging from 2-11 during our dreary weekend afternoon. Simply fold an empty toilet paper roll into a heart shape, dip in paint and create a work of art!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Valentine's Tradition with an Educational Twist
Candy Conversation Hearts too hard to resist?!?! Don't feel guilty, it's easy to turn this holiday tradition into a "sweet" learning opportunity for kids of all ages!
Preschoolers: Help your 3-5 year old separate the hearts by color and practice their counting skills while adding up the totals. For an extra challenge, write out the number 1-10 on note cards and have them practice making piles that correspond with each. Too easy?!?! Have your child count the number of letters on each heart, or search for the different letters of the alphabet!
Elementary: From estimation to graphing, candy hearts make the perfect math manipulative. Sort by color or message and make a bar graph, or ask home many hearts it would take to fill up a jar.
Middle/High School: Get your teenagers cooking in the kitchen with the homemade candy heart recipe found at the link below! Cooking has obvious connections to math and this recipe will have your kid playing chemist as they try to figure out just the right flavoring for their hearts!
http://candy.about.com/od/valentinesdaycandy/r/convo_hearts.htm
Saturday, February 4, 2012
New Study Connects Nurturing with Larger Hippocampus
In an earlier survey, BHF Blog Readers indicated an interest in new research, but with so much information at our fingertips, it is often difficult to find time to sort through it all. We hope to use this blog to connect you to valuable, relevant, up-to date information, like this fascinating study below.
A new study published online this week in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that preschool children whose moms are loving and nurturing have a larger hippocampus, an area of the brain involved in learning, memory and stress response, when they reach school age. Read this intriguing, and motivating, article at link below.
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2012/01/30/nurturing-moms-may-help-their-childs-brain-develop
A new study published online this week in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that preschool children whose moms are loving and nurturing have a larger hippocampus, an area of the brain involved in learning, memory and stress response, when they reach school age. Read this intriguing, and motivating, article at link below.
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2012/01/30/nurturing-moms-may-help-their-childs-brain-develop
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